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no dirt for the daisies Posted on Apr 01, 2009 at 09:48 PM
BET YA THOUGHT THIS OLD HAGNALENA MAGNA HAD DIED ON YA DIDN;T YA ...WELL GUESS AGAIN ,I BEEN BUSY AS A ONE LEGGED GRASSHOPPER AT A CATFISH REVIVAL SOOOOOOOOO GUESS WHOS' BACK ? NOW DON;T GET ALL CHOKED UP ,I AINT DOING NO CPR ON THIS HERE PUTER BEEN THERE DONE THAT LOL
oh no not another paddy!!!!!!!!!! Posted on Jul 16, 2008 at 12:03 PM
ooopppsssiiiee...some one is playing with me head..i am the only paddy in town now there are two.what shall we do? look see fer youself! impersonating a paddy well that just ain;t right.TTT please help me girls ya recon it is some feller trying to get me dates scured off? mercy what about that mean ol man?think he is in on it? if you know any info please help..signed paddywaddy not paddypoo...(sssooobbbb)
DIRTY BRITCHES Posted on Jul 09, 2008 at 03:15 PM
HI GUYS..I DIRTIED MY BRITCHES..DIDN;T MEAN TO ..BUT WAS WAITING IN LINE AT DIXIE DINER AND RUB DOWN OUT ON 62 NEAR UNCLE FESTUS;S CHIKEN AND CHOKE..THOUGHT I WOULD DROP IN AND SEE IF ANY OF YOU FELLERS HAS A WARSH RAG,WIPEY OR MAYBE SOME OF THAT THERE TOULET PAPER.NAW THAT STUFF IS STILL STUCK ON FROM CHRISTMAS.WELL DON;T EVERYBODY GET UP AT THE SAME TIME..I CAN SET A SPELL...MAN I SURE DO SMELL RIPE..
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WHUUUPED OUT Posted on Apr 23, 2008 at 04:29 AM
HI GUYS I AM BEAT ,EVERY SINCE I HAD MY HEARTY TACK ,CAN;T SEEM TO GET MY GET UP TO GET UP N GO ANY SUGGESTIONS? MIRACLE MEDICINE MEN HERE? TLC? BUT RUB? WD40?HELP!!!!!!!!!!! BY THE WAY I STILL LUB YA GUYS,MISS YA ,I AM WORKING THO SO IT ISN;T LIKE I DIED OR NUTTIN.SO DON;T EVEN THINK ABOUT REPLACING ME !!!
HEARTY TAC Posted on Mar 13, 2008 at 02:26 PM
PADDYWADDY HAD A LITTLE ONE,SCARED ME TO PIECES,PLEASE NO MORE ELEPHANTS SETTING BENEATH MY BOSSUM,YEP I AM OK WELL MAYBE NOT OK BUT I AM ALIVE,AND GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME ..LOVE AND MISS YA ..IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT SAY A PRAYER FOR ME ..THANKS GUYS GOD BLESS YOU ALL ...PATTY
COWBOY BOOTS Posted on Dec 26, 2007 at 05:51 PM
There was a midget down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend finally suggested that he go to a doctor to see what could be done to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor put him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough-the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc?" he asked. The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots."
HOPPY NEW YEAR Posted on Dec 23, 2007 at 07:59 PM
AS WE GET TO THE END OF YET ANOTHER CHANCE, TO BE WONDERFUL,REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ,SO GO FORTH ,INTO 2008,BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE, LOVE AS THO THERE ARE NO BROKEN HEARTS,AND TREAT EVERYONE THAT YOU CARE FOR, LIKE TODAY IS ALL YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM ,MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ...PATTY HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS
WHISKEY FEVER Posted on Dec 07, 2007 at 07:29 PM
Would you give up a nite life,a life syle,a couple of your no good friends,the bottle grass,hoeing,etc. if you felt like she /he was the right one,the one you had waited for all your life?have you given up ?would you?could you ?and how much is enough ?
ARE YOU A GRINCH? Posted on Dec 03, 2007 at 06:19 PM
How to Tell if You're a Grinch 1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points) 2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out) 3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points) 4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points. 5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction). 6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth. 7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party) 8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car) 9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year). 10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points) Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100. 20-30: You are just a cheeseball. 30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets. 50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
NUT CAROLS Posted on Dec 03, 2007 at 06:14 PM
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and . . . PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All Is Lonely OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away) BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
PRETTY PAPER Posted on Dec 02, 2007 at 06:36 AM
CHRISTMAS IS NEAR,ALL IS AGLOW,FIREPLACE IS BURNING,YARD FULL OF SNOW.INSIDE MY ROOM I HUDDLE WITH FEAR,CAUSE DADDY IS DRUNK,AND NO ONE WILL HEAR.NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL HIM IT;S WRONG,TO ABUSE HIS DAUGHTER,THE WHOLE NITE LONG.TIME AFTER TIME ,I;VE TRIED TO TELL ,GRANDPA,GRANDMA,AND MY COUSIN NELL.NO ONE BELIEVES ME NO ,THEY LAUGH WHEN I CRY,FOR IN THEIR MINDS,IV;E A STORY TO TELL.THE PARTY FOR CHRISTMAS ,IS TWO DAYS AWAY,AS I HIT THE FLOOR ,AND TRY HARDER TO PRAY.AND NOBODY HEARS ME ,NO BODY SEES A BROKEN LITTLE GIRL,AT A QUARTER TIL THREE.IN THE FRONT ROOM THEY LAUGH ,FOR THEY ARE SNORTING AND HIGHER THAN A KITE,AS I TURN TO TEDDY AND TELL HIM GOOD NITE.IHAVE PRETTY PAPER ,MY TEACHER GAVE ME,TO WRAP MOMMA;S PRESENT,FROM BABY JOHNNY ,SAM ,SISSY, AND ME.PRETTY PAPER,PRETTY RIBBON,I THINK AS I CRY.TELL DADDY TO GO AWAY,AS MY HOPE,AGAIN DIES..
TOO SWEET NOT TO SHARE Posted on Nov 27, 2007 at 05:13 PM
Anger is a condition in which The tongue works faster than the mind . You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present By worrying over the future ! Love...and you shall be loved. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him. All people smile in the same language. Everyone needs to be loved.... especially when they do not deserve it. The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity. Laughter is God's sunshine. Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it. It's important for parents to live the same things they teach. Thank God for what you have, TRUST GOD for what you need. If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for. Man looks at outward appearance but the Lord looks within. The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow. Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul. Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears. Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together. Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts. To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it. We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished. Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others. For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back. Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are. HAVE A NICE DAY .. YOU ARE DEEPLY LOVED.
YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE Posted on Nov 25, 2007 at 02:23 PM
ANY ONE EVER HAVE A FRIEND ,WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE THRU THICK AND THIN? HAS BROUGHT SUCH A RAY OF SUNSHINE TO YOUR WORLD? A PERSON ,THAT IF THEY WERE GONE,WOULD CAUSE A GREAT DARKNESS TO ENVELOPE YOUR VERY BEING? A FRIEND ,MATE, RELATIVE,ANYONE,..... EVER REALLY TOUCH YOU? MINE IS MY DEAR FRIEND RHONDA.I HAVE KNOWN HER SINCE I WAS 10,ALWAYS THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS,ALWAYS THERE TO HEAR ME OUT,ALWAYS THERE EVEN WHEN I DON;T WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY,A PERSON WHO IS STILL THERE WHEN OTHERS HAVE RUN OUT.
CHATTY KATHY Posted on Nov 23, 2007 at 03:35 PM
DOES YOUR LOVED ONE.....TALK TOO MUCH? DO YOU EVER WISH THEY WOULD SHUT THE HELL UP?NEED A SOCK? GREY TAPE? WHISKEY?WHAT IS A PERSON TO DO ANY ADVICE ? SIGNED FED UP IN TX.
WHO WOULDA THOUGHT Posted on Nov 23, 2007 at 03:30 PM
I AM GOING TO SELL CLEETUS AND BUY A BIGGER RIDE.MMMMMMM NOW THEN WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?
MRS CLAUSS;S BAD LIST Posted on Nov 12, 2007 at 01:57 PM
SANTA AND I HAVE TO CUT BACK ON GIFTS THIS YEAR....SO LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE BEEN GOOD OR BAD,ALSO IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN SQUEEL ON A BAD BOY..LIKE BOBBY Z HE HAS BEEN A REAL BAD BOY LOL
HAPPY TURKEY LURKEY GUYS Posted on Nov 11, 2007 at 04:37 PM
WANTING TO TAKE A MINUTE TO SAY I LUB YA AND HAVE A BLESSED THANKSGIVING TO ALL . REMEMBER SOMEONE CARES ABOUT YOU AND YOURS WRITE AND TELL US WHAT YOU ARE THANKFUL FRO IF YOU WILL LOVE PATTY I AM SO THANKFUL FOR GOD;S SAVING GRACE LORRIE, MATTHEW, KAINEN,MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
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WHO WILL TELL YOU Posted on Nov 10, 2007 at 06:58 PM
IF YOUR PANTS ARE STAINED WITH BLOOD IS IT OK FOR A STRANGER (MALE OR FEMALE ) TO TELL YOU? WHAT ABOUT IF A MAN;S FLY IS DOWN? A BURGER BIG AS TX. IN YOUR NOSE? FOOD PARTICAL IN A MUSTACHE? WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE?WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEONE TO TELL YOU ?YES OR NO
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phatt arse society Posted on Nov 07, 2007 at 06:56 PM
I DON;T WEAR A RED HAT ,THE COLOR ISN;T RIGHT ,BUT I AM NOW A FAT ASS ,A BUT LOVERS DELIGHT. IF YOU SEE ME ROUND THE BEND TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO ,BEND RIGHT OVER IN THE MID OF DAY AND HAVE A MOON FOR YOU..HAPPY MOONING ......BY THE WAY MY CHEEKS ARE LILLY WHITE , SO I WILL PUT POLKA DOTS ON EM WITH A BINGO MARKER JUST FOR YOU ..hot pink purple yellow that is if demoman gets the markers to us lol
TENDER SUBJECT Posted on Nov 06, 2007 at 06:08 PM
OK GUYS AND GIRLS HERE GOES...LOL A MAN FRIEND OF MINE THINKS MASTRBAISHUUUNNNN IS A SIN AGAINST GOD;S WILL ,I TALKED TO HIM BUT I GUESS ONE OF US IS WARPED NOT ME OF COURSE LOL SHED SOME LITE ON THIS ,PRO AND CON I REALIZE NO ONE TALKS ABOUT SOME THINGS ,BUT WE ARE AMONG FRIENDS THIS PERSON IS MISERABLE WITH HIS GUILT...WE ARE JUST FRIENDS BY THE WAY,SO I CAN TELL HIM WHATEVER I WANT...NOT LIKE A BOYFRIEND WHO YAKS BACK SORRY BOYS HAD TO SLING THAT ONE AT YA TO KEEP YA ALIVE LOL
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