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yeah i agree,i drank and drugged full on and flat out for twenty seven years,suffered numerous unexplainable injuries, pain, humiliation and degradation.heres a poem i thought up a couple of months ago./I used to set myself on fire, always wanting to get higher,party tricks would make you sick,diamond days or diamond dogs ,DESPERATION BLUES,no good news ,down down down,i have a disease of more that cannot be satisfied, a wild spirit unpacified,stratified and shattered,fish crumbed or battered?it does not matter when eating from a bin,the shame ,the guilt,the newspaper quilt, going full throttle down the neck of a bottle,or breaking a leg while drinking a keg,some may think is extreme.this journey of life,torture trouble and strife,powerless, spat into the world,DESPERATION, isolation, i had to drink again,the jumping off point,maybe smoke a joint, paranoia,isolation and fear, that hot cold sweat,i do not fret because my pants are wet, and i woke up on the kitchen floor,whose kitchen floor? whats behind that door? WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT !!!???well that was then and this is now,over 8 years sober and clean and happy.and back on a bike.all those years i was living THE GOOD LIFE (ha ha ha )well i thought i was anyway, at the time,talk about insanity.i was dying a day at a time and now im LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME and loving it ,happy joyous and free a brand new life.i turned 50 a few months ago and i never thought id make 21.didnt care.no self worth, couldnt fit in anywhere,now ive got a life beyond my wildest dreams,not so much in the material sense but in the emotional and spiritual,and dont get me wrong im not a religious person ,but i do have a power that guides me when i stop to ask and look for the signs.and a will to live ,and share my joy.and also share my story ,in the hope that someone as desperate as i was will identify with my story, and seek a way out of pain, misery and suffering.
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