ADDICTIONS.... Health Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Jan 29, 2005 at 10:02 AM

    Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome
    Even more serious than the mania for chocolate is the growing epidemic of MAS, or Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome. Don't laugh because you might be its next victim. Just to give you a possible heads up in case it's creeping up on you, here are a few questions to quietly answer for yourself.

    How many of these apply to you?

    1. I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.

    2. I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.

    3. I ride rapidly, often 'gulping' roads.

    4. I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work.

    5. I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen.

    6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles.

    7. Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I were riding, even while in cars.

    8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.

    9. At a boring party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.

    10. Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.

    11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.

    12. I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.

    13. I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.

    14. Most of my friends are unapologetic motorcycle riders.

    15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.

    16. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of riding.

    17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden; or, worse, NOT ridden.

    18. I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.

    19. Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.

    If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle addict. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem...professional help is strongly advised.

    Once a relatively rare disorder, Motorcycle Addiction Syndrome, or MAS, has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher quality motorcycles at a relatively low expense since the end of the Second World War. The number of motorcycle addicts and abusers is currently at record levels.

    Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from riding in awkward positions or carrying heavy tool bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky bike mechanics in small towns.

    Excessive riding during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of Road Racers, Tourers, Squids, Wannabees and Posers alike.

    Known as Fetal Motard Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime of vertigo, daydreaming, emotional instability and an unnerving predilection for unsuitable leather garments.

    Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of motorcycles. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused motorcycles, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses or significant others of an addict become addicts themselves.

    Fathers or mothers who are road race fans, collectors, or heavy leather wearers; parents who do not encourage children to play team games, read voraciously (except Rider and Motorcyclist magazines), or watch television (other than Speedvision) in the evening.

    Premarital screening and counseling, and referral to adoption agencies is urged in order to break the chain of abuse. One percenters in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity by joining teams, and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection. Proximity to road maps and National Geographic magazines should be restricted. Keep two-stroke oil securely locked away and out of reach. Playing cards inserted into bicycle spokes must be looked upon as a primary initial symptom, as should inadvertent twitching of the right wrist and incessant muttering of the syllables "Udden-Udden." Children noted exhibiting a 'thousand yard stare' in the direction of a setting sun are likewise considered candidates for early intervention. A preference for tiny boots and multi-colored leather diapers indicates incipient 'motorcycle madness' and requires urgent, immediate treatment if any semblance of normality is ever to be achieved.
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  • 24Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 18, 2006 at 02:29 PM

    Thirty-eight degrees, long underwear, leathers, neoprene, turtleneck, chaps, thinsolate boots, I-I'm okay. Thanks for the concern, I can still make my bills and stay in my own lane. I'm kind to pedestrians and yield to the right of way. I-I'm good thanx
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 04, 2005 at 08:26 AM

    Last night I was out in the shop late fixing a flat, had to go for a spin after I was done, but that toilet handle is still sticking after 3 years, got to have your priorities! I'm not suffering from this addiction, I'm enjoying it! Ride On!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 17, 2005 at 06:14 AM

    beatitudes_5 write:
    art...that a tough job......let me ask you, how do you like that shadow....i've heard good things about them....i want to move up soon, ( i have a small bike) really can't afford a harley...but i really like the savage also.......would appericate any info....thanks

    Sorry it took so long to read this, been a long month. Work, dentist, doc apt, you know how it gets a.t times.
    I'm really liking the shadow. Plenty good for hyway travel. Not going to have a huge topend. But is comfy a.t 70-75 mph. And it's a great backroads bike. Most of where I ride is 45-60 mph limit and it's a lot of fun on a curvy road. A little high geared in first if you are going to be in a lot of stop and go traffic. But doable. If you want big bags on the back you need to get a turnsignal relocator bracket as they are in the way of even small bags as far as I can tell. But that was only $30 so money well spent. All in all I've got 1500 miles on it in a month and a half, and not much for anything to complain about.
    Has any body else ran into trouble using the word a+t? How stupid!

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  • View author's info Posted on Jul 22, 2005 at 11:27 AM

    art...that a tough job......let me ask you, how do you like that shadow....i've heard good things about them....i want to move up soon, ( i have a small bike) really can't afford a harley...but i really like the savage also.......would appericate any info....thanks
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 19, 2005 at 05:38 AM

    I work in a papermill. Last week I worked 4 12 hr overtime day shifts running a cat. Then went back to my regular 4 night shifts cleaning the boiler. So with 50 hrs of ot, (my relief was late!) on this check. Going to make for a nice first payment on the new shadow. Got 600 miles on it now! Bought it July 1st and have had a few rain days with no riding. Still trying to talk myself into selling the old cb750. Problem is I can't remember selling more than a couple of bikes. Usually just hang onto them until I give them away for parts. I've noticed a pattern though. I've only bought 3 new vehicals in my life, and they have all been motorcycles! lol
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 18, 2005 at 06:13 PM god.....what do you do for a living?
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 18, 2005 at 02:25 PM

    does this qualify: Tonight will be my 8th 12 shift in a row. And I'm searching the freezer for food rather than drive to work so I can buy groc.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 07:35 PM

    Not me, I have no problem. I can quit any time I want. I only ride by myself cause not everyone wants to come out at night. My other bikes are there cause maybe a friend might want to see one like it. If I didn't by the good oil at the store someone might have to go out of buisness. I have to ride my bikes so people know they run. If I didn't ride some poor cow would have died for nothing and his /her leather would have gone to waste. I do a service riding my bikes, bug control, and keep law enforcement awake on the long nights watch by setting off thier radars.
    Nope riding's not a problem here, I can ride very "Well".
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 01, 2005 at 08:40 PM

    3bikes? 4 bikes? You call that an addiction? I've been riding over 40 years, and have never sold one of my bikes. My Garage currently has 32 bikes in it, and most of them run. Oh decisions, decisions... Which will I ride today?
    Honestly, it's not an addiction, It's a way of life!

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  • View author's info Posted on Jul 01, 2005 at 06:22 PM

    dose only three bikes count as MBD?
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 05, 2005 at 07:05 PM

    Please tell me where the nearest meeting is in Boston!
    I am very anxious to meet other people with this addiction :)
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 09, 2005 at 03:10 PM

    Yes loco, I'm addicted to MBS "Multiple Bike Syndrome".
    I have four rides now, can only ride one at a time. Hee!
    I don't need help from a twelve step program, I'm not a quiter!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 08, 2005 at 09:51 PM

    Me and you brother maby we should start a support group or sumptin????
    Anyone els got MBD?
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 01, 2005 at 02:17 PM

    And if that isn't enough, how about MBD(Multiple Bike Disorder)???
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 22, 2005 at 08:34 AM

    I totally agree with you Shadow... I too have bben know to lay on her back in the middle of a long night and whisper things to her that no-one else has heard from me.
    She (my 22 year friend, the 78 1/2 FlH,) was my dearest friend... and saw me through a lot of trouble... some she even created herself!
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2005 at 02:07 PM

    Chesshirecat I thought all these things were normal. Except the long winter nights that I sleep on my bike to keep each other company. She is my best buddy and true friend who is always there for me. Who I can confide in and has given me more than I can ever give to her.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 14, 2005 at 02:24 PM

    No LadyBlue...just call me Abby for abnormal. lol Ride safely Everyone!
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 13, 2005 at 05:35 PM

    Dang, I thought there was something in the gene pool guess they were right ...God bless me daddy's lil swimmers... I feel better now knowing I am not the only unnormal person around. lol
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 10, 2005 at 03:36 PM

    Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome, Hmmm I believe I've met some who've had this afliction. They usually start out with some petty little things like HD-pins, vest to put them on etc. Eventually they move on to bigger things like Harley-Barbies and Barbie-Bikes.
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