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The secret glue that keeps relationships alive is...
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Oct 13, 2005 05:31


SpringerSoul write:

lilystarr write:
Lust should not ever have to leave a relationship if the people involved have a love and respect for each other. Lust and passion are one in the same. There is no delineation of the two words. If the lust felt is strictly ?for the moment? then it will take its course. I think the secret to love, passion, and happiness is getting out of the trinity of ?self?, ?me? and ?I? and getting into ?we? .

Maybe it isn't getting out of the trinity but experiencing the trinity as ONE.
I do not think lust and passion are the same.
Lust is like a hunger and some hungers are never satiated while others are. Lust also in my opnion is strictly about object consumption.
Now lust can be a balancing force in a relationship in the pendulum of give and take but Passion is like Gravity.
Regardless of the two bodies interaction it is a desire to orbit, to circle, to delight, to cherish, to worship to adore if it is felt by both then the orbit is circular and strong.
The pendelum of lust and love whose mass is...

needs more thought...hope they don't post before I edit..



I like the part of lust being like object consumption...
Almost like someone who can't stop eating twinkies or stop drinking when they have had enuf..
I also think that pure lust can be a destructive thing whereas Passion, even tho it may contain a smigen of lustful desire is constructive...
Many speak love with their lips while hiding lust in the back of their minds..I read that somewhere - and like it...
Lust & passion?
Definately NOT the same..



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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Oct 13, 2005 03:50


SuspendedLostBoys write:

Eye_m_no_angel write:
"The secret glue that keeps relationships alive is..."

You're asking a bunch of people on a singles' dating site this question? Most all of us are here because we've had relationships that ended in the past (the glue failed?) and you're asking US what works? Heck, if I knew the answer to that question I wouldn't be here.


FOOD!
I want to know if you can cook?
I'm hungry What's for dinner?
And it had better not come out of a microwave.
That's it ladies.
FOOD!
If you can't cook, let me know now cuz I'm losing weight and inches here.
By the way, what's for breakfast?

SLB


Awwww, SLB, that ain't good.....If ya get this way...let me know, I'll fix ya a decent dinner, no man should go hungry!!



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Oct 12, 2005 18:26


Eye_m_no_angel write:
"The secret glue that keeps relationships alive is..."

You're asking a bunch of people on a singles' dating site this question? Most all of us are here because we've had relationships that ended in the past (the glue failed?) and you're asking US what works? Heck, if I knew the answer to that question I wouldn't be here.


FOOD!
I want to know if you can cook?
I'm hungry What's for dinner?
And it had better not come out of a microwave.
That's it ladies.
FOOD!
If you can't cook, let me know now cuz I'm losing weight and inches here.
By the way, what's for breakfast?

SLB



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Oct 12, 2005 17:13


lilystarr write:
Lust should not ever have to leave a relationship if the people involved have a love and respect for each other. Lust and passion are one in the same. There is no delineation of the two words. If the lust felt is strictly ?for the moment? then it will take its course. I think the secret to love, passion, and happiness is getting out of the trinity of ?self?, ?me? and ?I? and getting into ?we? .

Maybe it isn't getting out of the trinity but experiencing the trinity as ONE.
I do not think lust and passion are the same.
Lust is like a hunger and some hungers are never satiated while others are. Lust also in my opnion is strictly about object consumption.
Now lust can be a balancing force in a relationship in the pendulum of give and take but Passion is like Gravity.
Regardless of the two bodies interaction it is a desire to orbit, to circle, to delight, to cherish, to worship to adore if it is felt by both then the orbit is circular and strong.
The pendelum of lust and love whose mass is...

needs more thought...hope they don't post before I edit..



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Oct 12, 2005 16:16


Eye_m_no_angel write:
"The secret glue that keeps relationships alive is..."

You're asking a bunch of people on a singles' dating site this question? Most all of us are here because we've had relationships that ended in the past (the glue failed?) and you're asking US what works? Heck, if I knew the answer to that question I wouldn't be here.


ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No truer words were spoken...
I do think that we can learn from past mistakes and that we probably all have friends that are happily coupled... so I guess we can say it by osmosis...



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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Oct 11, 2005 21:28

"The secret glue that keeps relationships alive is..."

You're asking a bunch of people on a singles' dating site this question? Most all of us are here because we've had relationships that ended in the past (the glue failed?) and you're asking US what works? Heck, if I knew the answer to that question I wouldn't be here.



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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Sep 23, 2005 20:48

Lust should not ever have to leave a relationship if the people involved have a love and respect for each other. Lust and passion are one in the same. There is no delineation of the two words. If the lust felt is strictly ?for the moment? then it will take its course. I think the secret to love, passion, and happiness is getting out of the trinity of ?self?, ?me? and ?I? and getting into ?we? .



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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Sep 23, 2005 12:16


Hogdaddy2005 write:
I agree with Marzen, there is no secret - but respect, communication, and in my opinion, friendship. These are the things that were there when I got married, and faded away...why I don't know. But once that is lost, it is very hard to get back.

I now know that I want my partner/spouse to be not just my lover, but my friend to. I want to be able to enjoy that special person. There is nothing worse then not even wanting to go home after a day of work. Or wanting to work instead of being home on your days off. I have learned from the past. And want a new bright future, filled w/love and happiness.

Isn't it so sad when you don't want to go home at night? Where you wish their vehicle isn't in the driveway so you can have some time to yourself? But when you are approaching home & you see their vehicle in the driveway & your heart sinks & you try to put on your "happy face" before entering the house? Sigh...

  


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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Sep 22, 2005 10:55

I agree with Marzen, there is no secret - but respect, communication, and in my opinion, friendship. These are the things that were there when I got married, and faded away...why I don't know. But once that is lost, it is very hard to get back.

I now know that I want my partner/spouse to be not just my lover, but my friend to. I want to be able to enjoy that special person. There is nothing worse then not even wanting to go home after a day of work. Or wanting to work instead of being home on your days off. I have learned from the past. And want a new bright future, filled w/love and happiness.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Sep 17, 2005 17:40

I am kinda new, still getting to know people on here, and I have to say that I am blown away by all the words of wisdom in this thread. Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and elevating conciousness for everyone who reads here.



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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Sep 17, 2005 17:07

"and I am praying to my higher self don't let me down keep my feet on the ground."

Caution: the secret glue is very sticky and pervasive through out your whole life. It tends to make you very mushy and very delirous and euphoric at first due to fume exposure.
Best adhesion occurs in an Open and Trusting relationship tends to bond well with porous communication surfaces.

but right now I am just high on this glue! Weeeee!!!



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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Sep 16, 2005 06:11

There is no secret. Just respect and care for the person you have chosen to be with. Listen to what they say, talk, then talk again. Communication is the glue. Hi Waterbaby



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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Sep 16, 2005 05:14

Thank you knotsofast...actually it's one I use to use, then changed it

  


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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Sep 16, 2005 04:44


DoubleDelight write:
WoW. Great thread!
I have enjoyed reading all the posts here. Love the sharing. It is a Delight to see all the marvelous sharings from your hearts and minds.
Knotsofast said:"Arguments and misunderstandings all come from lack of communication. One side has certain expectations, those are not met for whatever reason ( valid or otherwise) and it isn't worked out....there begins the downward spiral. If not caught soon, then the deeper it gets until recovery is no longer possible.

And I dont mean arguing either, as an argument is just when one side cannot see the other side's point of view. So a willingness to listen and ability to understand ( not necessarily agree, but understand) the other side's point of view is essential...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anybody here ever heard of "Compassionate Communication?" There is an author, speaker (can't remember his name at the moment) who travels world-wide to share his wisdom and helps to create peace between peoples and Nations.
I agree with Knotsofast Re: Communicate and Understand. And if all else fails, Agree to Disagree.
It takes a lot of strength to step up to the plate together and communicate, and listen-no blaming-Just Be Here Now. No kitchen sinks. Compassion.
So, someone seems to be angry,distant,etc: What is the un-met NEED sitting there underneath the pain? Very Simple-not a want-a NEED. To be heard, held, connected, fed, peace, laughter, quiet, Connection...
When the real need is spotted and acknowledged by another's heart, transformation takes place.
Continuing to step up to the plate together-with willingness, an open heart and mind, sans ego. Sans= without.
Sometimes it means taking a deep breath, a walk, a re-connecting to a personally felt demand to be here now, fully present, and from/in Love.
Personally--Now matter how 'heavy' I am feeling--a good laugh, a light touch, and I can turn on a dime-from pain, anger, sadness, and heartbreak.
Glue: a constant willingness to show up, as your higher self.
Love ya all!

Doubly Delighted



how true---and own your own feelings---i am feeling not you make me feel

no one can make me feel anything--i'm allowing myself to feel--my partners actions may trigger those feelings or it may be that i had certain expectations that didn't pan out--BUT WE MUST DISCUSS THEM if not the resentments set in and they can fester and destroy

so communication--but correct communication--allow one to speak and truely listen--listening is the true art to communication--not only being able to speak treuly of feelings



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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Sep 16, 2005 01:57

WoW. Great thread!
I have enjoyed reading all the posts here. Love the sharing. It is a Delight to see all the marvelous sharings from your hearts and minds.
Knotsofast said:"Arguments and misunderstandings all come from lack of communication. One side has certain expectations, those are not met for whatever reason ( valid or otherwise) and it isn't worked out....there begins the downward spiral. If not caught soon, then the deeper it gets until recovery is no longer possible.

And I dont mean arguing either, as an argument is just when one side cannot see the other side's point of view. So a willingness to listen and ability to understand ( not necessarily agree, but understand) the other side's point of view is essential...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anybody here ever heard of "Compassionate Communication?" There is an author, speaker (can't remember his name at the moment) who travels world-wide to share his wisdom and helps to create peace between peoples and Nations.
I agree with Knotsofast Re: Communicate and Understand. And if all else fails, Agree to Disagree.
It takes a lot of strength to step up to the plate together and communicate, and listen-no blaming-Just Be Here Now. No kitchen sinks. Compassion.
So, someone seems to be angry,distant,etc: What is the un-met NEED sitting there underneath the pain? Very Simple-not a want-a NEED. To be heard, held, connected, fed, peace, laughter, quiet, Connection...
When the real need is spotted and acknowledged by another's heart, transformation takes place.
Continuing to step up to the plate together-with willingness, an open heart and mind, sans ego. Sans= without.
Sometimes it means taking a deep breath, a walk, a re-connecting to a personally felt demand to be here now, fully present, and from/in Love.
Personally--Now matter how 'heavy' I am feeling--a good laugh, a light touch, and I can turn on a dime-from pain, anger, sadness, and heartbreak.
Glue: a constant willingness to show up, as your higher self.
Love ya all!

Doubly Delighted

  


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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Sep 13, 2005 18:59

I like the new pic Roxie.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Sep 13, 2005 16:49


Roxie0215 write:
Bigbear...You're a sweetheart!


Ain't he though Roxie!!!

  


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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Sep 13, 2005 12:38

Bigbear...You're a sweetheart!



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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Sep 13, 2005 10:51


Bigbear2000 write:
and you bring her little "nothing" gifts on a regular basis. Why? Like you said, "just because". Maybe it's only a dandelion or a pretty rock you think she might like or maybe it's a dozen long stemmed red roses or perhaps a fine piece of jewelry. You must let her know that SHE is your love and that she's so appreciated and so special in your life.

So very nice Bigbear...& the same goes for the woman doing special little things for that special guy in her life to let him know just how much he is loved & appreciated. Makes ones heart smile...

  


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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Sep 13, 2005 10:41


Bigbear2000 write:
and you bring her little "nothing" gifts on a regular basis. Why? Like you said, "just because". Maybe it's only a dandelion or a pretty rock you think she might like or maybe it's a dozen long stemmed red roses or perhaps a fine piece of jewelry. You must let her know that SHE is your love and that she's so appreciated and so special in your life.


nice big bear....very nice!!

  


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