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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Dec 31, 2005 07:22

tripper2006 write:
revolutionarypassion write:

Rev, I shortened your post, don't expect to be right on, but here's my opinion, the guy is telling half truths trying to control the hurt he feels he's eminently dumping on 2 people he cares about. He's doing the best he can to control damage, emphasis on THE BEST HE CAN DO, it remains up to you what you decide to do with the best he can do.

Best of luck, nothing's perfect, follow your heart but steer with your instincts.

Tripper I can see why you are in a relationship.

Nodey,

You had one advantage...intimacy and privacy.
You two were allowed to work out your issues or problems without either one trying to publicly bully you into Loving them. A relationship is two people drawing into themselves to combat the world not two people drawing the world into their combat.
It really damages any chance of romance when individuals think they can force Love on someone.

Sometimes individuals run into a burning house to rescue somone and in the flight forget their own stove is still on.
Does it really serve any purpose when the rescued trys to humilate the rescuer for not shutting off their stove before running into their neighbors house to save them and loosing their house in the process?
Now we have two houses burned down but both individuals are alive. Sometimes we don't make the best choices when we just react, but we are still alive to learn and make the best of it if we allow it.
Although many have sued a Good Samaritan in the past because they weren't medically trained regardless of the help they attempted to provide.
It is just bitterness and needing someone to blame for a bad situation instead.

Peace and Happy New Year



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 28, 2005 21:15

1viking1 write:

seeme1st write:

1viking1 write:
Nodey write:
1viking1 write:
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.



I gave someone a second chance. I don't regret it at all. We were in a new relationship,and he decided he wanted something closer to home. I was hurt,but knew I had too much pride to be with someone who didn't want me. For some unknown reason,we found our way back to one another.I,ME,I gave a second chance. I have no one to point the finger at this time but myself.

Will I be hurt again? Possibly,maybe not. But to me,it was worth it.
We are taking it slow,becoming friends,not rushing into anything,I'm having the time of my life.Love is too precious for maybe's,or what if's.

Not all second chances can be regretted. I know I don't regret mine at all.


Hiya Nodey,

That is cool and congrats to you. I would consider that a rare occasion the way it worked for you.

Be that as it may, people giving others a second chance is fine if you're willing to risk a relationship on the sincerity of one who was insincere the first time around. I no longer am. Just doesn't work for me. That's not to say that it won't work the second time around. It may well work. I just won't give it a chance anymore. Been down that road one too many times.

I've come to the conclusion that if a relationship was built on truth, trust, and honesty, then it would work from the start and a second chance would be unnecessary. Sure, we all have our problems and deficiencies, etc., but a "third party" shouldn't be one of them. And that we do have some control over.

Viking



i think it depends on the situation

if a person outright lies or if the person puts his running shoes on!!!!!!

i don't know for sure but i think in Nodey's case he was honest about what was going on!!!! that is a big difference



Peggy,

I agree in Nodey's case...there is a difference, and as I said...a rare occurrence. More often than not, the reasons for seconds chances are vastly different.

Viking


for sure---hope you had a good holiday!!!!!!



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 28, 2005 20:56

seeme1st write:

1viking1 write:
Nodey write:
1viking1 write:
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.



I gave someone a second chance. I don't regret it at all. We were in a new relationship,and he decided he wanted something closer to home. I was hurt,but knew I had too much pride to be with someone who didn't want me. For some unknown reason,we found our way back to one another.I,ME,I gave a second chance. I have no one to point the finger at this time but myself.

Will I be hurt again? Possibly,maybe not. But to me,it was worth it.
We are taking it slow,becoming friends,not rushing into anything,I'm having the time of my life.Love is too precious for maybe's,or what if's.

Not all second chances can be regretted. I know I don't regret mine at all.


Hiya Nodey,

That is cool and congrats to you. I would consider that a rare occasion the way it worked for you.

Be that as it may, people giving others a second chance is fine if you're willing to risk a relationship on the sincerity of one who was insincere the first time around. I no longer am. Just doesn't work for me. That's not to say that it won't work the second time around. It may well work. I just won't give it a chance anymore. Been down that road one too many times.

I've come to the conclusion that if a relationship was built on truth, trust, and honesty, then it would work from the start and a second chance would be unnecessary. Sure, we all have our problems and deficiencies, etc., but a "third party" shouldn't be one of them. And that we do have some control over.

Viking



i think it depends on the situation

if a person outright lies or if the person puts his running shoes on!!!!!!

i don't know for sure but i think in Nodey's case he was honest about what was going on!!!! that is a big difference


Peggy,

I agree in Nodey's case...there is a difference, and as I said...a rare occurrence. More often than not, the reasons for seconds chances are vastly different.

Viking



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 28, 2005 20:39

1viking1 write:
Nodey write:
1viking1 write:
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.



I gave someone a second chance. I don't regret it at all. We were in a new relationship,and he decided he wanted something closer to home. I was hurt,but knew I had too much pride to be with someone who didn't want me. For some unknown reason,we found our way back to one another.I,ME,I gave a second chance. I have no one to point the finger at this time but myself.

Will I be hurt again? Possibly,maybe not. But to me,it was worth it.
We are taking it slow,becoming friends,not rushing into anything,I'm having the time of my life.Love is too precious for maybe's,or what if's.

Not all second chances can be regretted. I know I don't regret mine at all.


Hiya Nodey,

That is cool and congrats to you. I would consider that a rare occasion the way it worked for you.

Be that as it may, people giving others a second chance is fine if you're willing to risk a relationship on the sincerity of one who was insincere the first time around. I no longer am. Just doesn't work for me. That's not to say that it won't work the second time around. It may well work. I just won't give it a chance anymore. Been down that road one too many times.

I've come to the conclusion that if a relationship was built on truth, trust, and honesty, then it would work from the start and a second chance would be unnecessary. Sure, we all have our problems and deficiencies, etc., but a "third party" shouldn't be one of them. And that we do have some control over.

Viking


i think it depends on the situation

if a person outright lies or if the person puts his running shoes on!!!!!!

i don't know for sure but i think in Nodey's case he was honest about what was going on!!!! that is a big difference



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 28, 2005 15:33

LOL.... no worries Bud ... Angel was asking if you had a brother. Scroll down a bit ....:)

xoxo



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 28, 2005 13:50

Nodey write:
1viking1 write:
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.



I gave someone a second chance. I don't regret it at all. We were in a new relationship,and he decided he wanted something closer to home. I was hurt,but knew I had too much pride to be with someone who didn't want me. For some unknown reason,we found our way back to one another.I,ME,I gave a second chance. I have no one to point the finger at this time but myself.

Will I be hurt again? Possibly,maybe not. But to me,it was worth it.
We are taking it slow,becoming friends,not rushing into anything,I'm having the time of my life.Love is too precious for maybe's,or what if's.

Not all second chances can be regretted. I know I don't regret mine at all.


Hiya Nodey,

That is cool and congrats to you. I would consider that a rare occasion the way it worked for you.

Be that as it may, people giving others a second chance is fine if you're willing to risk a relationship on the sincerity of one who was insincere the first time around. I no longer am. Just doesn't work for me. That's not to say that it won't work the second time around. It may well work. I just won't give it a chance anymore. Been down that road one too many times.

I've come to the conclusion that if a relationship was built on truth, trust, and honesty, then it would work from the start and a second chance would be unnecessary. Sure, we all have our problems and deficiencies, etc., but a "third party" shouldn't be one of them. And that we do have some control over.

Viking



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 28, 2005 06:40

Every once in awhile? Dang! LOL I have yet to meet a guy that does not admit the truth anywhere anyhow or any way lol

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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Dec 26, 2005 15:39

Just remember if a man raises his hand to you once he will do it again.Each time with more devastating results.Sometimes it is better to let the head do the thinking not the heart.No matter how much pain the heart may be in.This in time shall heal as time goes on and new love is found.At least this way the heart even though in pain shall still beat instead of taking the chance of it never beating again.



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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Dec 26, 2005 15:06

Rev,
I wish I had an answer for you, but I do not.
As I think you may know I worked with men for 29 years as a counselor and program director and I have found that every once in a while I would met a man who was incapable of being honest. We are not talking about men who make mistakes, make amends, and learn to do differently. The only solution was to get them out of the program before they did to much damage.
I wish I had an answer for you.
Spyder



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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Dec 26, 2005 11:25

NASCAR6FAN write:

revolutionarypassion write:
Here's a new question for the guys...
Beginning with a short scenerio:

You broke up with someone. Got involved with someone new. Had the new girlfriend move in.

While with the new girlfriend, the ex contacts you. Misses you. You tell her you miss her...

The new girlfriend finds out. You tell the new girlfriend that the contact means nothing. You tell her that you love her and that the words didn't mean anything to you, because you believe actions speak louder than words. And the words are like a story...not real. You tell her that you love her and want her...and that you are sorry for the communication with the ex, because you knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere because 'that's how she is and she's never going to change'.

So...some time goes by and you and your girlfriend are trying to get over this issue with your ex. Your girlfriend is hurt and feels like you've betrayed some of your love, but she's willing to work things out.

Your girlfriend finds out that the communication didn't stop, and that you are telling the ex that the two of you (the ex and you) will be together again, but you tell the girlfriend that your conversation revolved around you two getting over one another and that she (the ex) has a new guy.

Here's my question...

Why tell the girlfriend and the ex these lies?

Rev.... there's no logical reason for this wild pack of lies being spun by this person , the only actual reason these lies are being spun is because this person thinks solely of themselves and they are selfish in every sense of the word , eventually the ex will be lied to again and that ex will get tired of the lies and dump this person on their deceitful aZZ , so in the long run this person will get what's coming to them, what goes around... comes around...


I agree with Stan. Stand back and watch this relationship blow up in his face also. Most don't want good and stable. They want what they can't have.

Hopefully,with therapy,if they are humble enough to realize they need it,most can overcome their demons and be able to obtain a healthy,normal relationship.



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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Dec 26, 2005 11:17

1viking1 write:
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.
I've given second chances and have come to learn the hard way that they don't work. No seconds chances anymore...under ANY circumstances.



I gave someone a second chance. I don't regret it at all. We were in a new relationship,and he decided he wanted something closer to home. I was hurt,but knew I had too much pride to be with someone who didn't want me. For some unknown reason,we found our way back to one another.I,ME,I gave a second chance. I have no one to point the finger at this time but myself.

Will I be hurt again? Possibly,maybe not. But to me,it was worth it.
We are taking it slow,becoming friends,not rushing into anything,I'm having the time of my life.Love is too precious for maybe's,or what if's.

Not all second chances can be regretted. I know I don't regret mine at all.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Dec 26, 2005 08:21

<---- Agrees with Huntr .... the female in this party deserves better, and hey, the man don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot; maybe she needs to try administering the proverbial dose of his own medicine :)

Angel --- HE MIGHT. Bud? >;-)



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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Dec 26, 2005 07:46

revolutionarypassion

its called having your cake and eating it too

one day he will grow up



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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Dec 26, 2005 06:53

revolutionarypassion write:
Here's a new question for the guys...
Beginning with a short scenerio:

You broke up with someone. Got involved with someone new. Had the new girlfriend move in.

While with the new girlfriend, the ex contacts you. Misses you. You tell her you miss her...

The new girlfriend finds out. You tell the new girlfriend that the contact means nothing. You tell her that you love her and that the words didn't mean anything to you, because you believe actions speak louder than words. And the words are like a story...not real. You tell her that you love her and want her...and that you are sorry for the communication with the ex, because you knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere because 'that's how she is and she's never going to change'.

So...some time goes by and you and your girlfriend are trying to get over this issue with your ex. Your girlfriend is hurt and feels like you've betrayed some of your love, but she's willing to work things out.

Your girlfriend finds out that the communication didn't stop, and that you are telling the ex that the two of you (the ex and you) will be together again, but you tell the girlfriend that your conversation revolved around you two getting over one another and that she (the ex) has a new guy.

Here's my question...

Why tell the girlfriend and the ex these lies?

Rev.... there's no logical reason for this wild pack of lies being spun by this person , the only actual reason these lies are being spun is because this person thinks solely of themselves and they are selfish in every sense of the word , eventually the ex will be lied to again and that ex will get tired of the lies and dump this person on their deceitful aZZ , so in the long run this person will get what's coming to them, what goes around... comes around...

  


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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Dec 23, 2005 13:26

Here's a new question for the guys...
Beginning with a short scenerio:

You broke up with someone. Got involved with someone new. Had the new girlfriend move in.

While with the new girlfriend, the ex contacts you. Misses you. You tell her you miss her...

The new girlfriend finds out. You tell the new girlfriend that the contact means nothing. You tell her that you love her and that the words didn't mean anything to you, because you believe actions speak louder than words. And the words are like a story...not real. You tell her that you love her and want her...and that you are sorry for the communication with the ex, because you knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere because 'that's how she is and she's never going to change'.

So...some time goes by and you and your girlfriend are trying to get over this issue with your ex. Your girlfriend is hurt and feels like you've betrayed some of your love, but she's willing to work things out.

Your girlfriend finds out that the communication didn't stop, and that you are telling the ex that the two of you (the ex and you) will be together again, but you tell the girlfriend that your conversation revolved around you two getting over one another and that she (the ex) has a new guy.

Here's my question...

Why tell the girlfriend and the ex these lies?



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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Dec 22, 2005 14:56

NORTY write:
jim1960 write:
So the men are acting like women?


KickStart wrote:

ONLY in Seattle...

Not quite sure what that means. I live in Seattle.

But I'll give you my two cents worth on players vs. baggage.

I'm separated...says so in my profile. It hurts every day. And those who have been there know what I mean. I know all the reasons someone wouldn't want to get involved in a rebound relationship, and I respect them.

Separation and divorce are facts of life. Those who don't experience them personally, will know someone who either is going through them, or has in the past. And the biggest feeling during and after those times is one of loneliness. Yeah, there's all kinds of chit to deal with in setting up a new life amid the shards of an old one.

I got lots of friends, but I also lost many in the separation. Just the simple act of joining a site like this can provide some harmless conversation and maybe a flirt or two that might now happen in the day to day.

In my case, I fully realize that I have open wounds to heal and it will be some time before I am back to what passes for normal. And like a lot of guys, I tamp this stuff down and bury it, so I can get by each day. But I am not so 'needy' that I would play with someone else's emotions just because they said something kind to me on a chat line.

One of the few unguarded joys I have now (among all the financial, emotional and practical crapola I have to deal with in a separation/divorce) is to just get on the bike and ride. Being able to talk and laugh with bike people is great. (My soon-to-be ex never had the slightest interest in riding or anything connected with it, though I've been doing it since I was fifteen.) Just hearing a bike lightens my mind a bit!

I wasn't planning to go all "Dr. Phil" here, but I'm glad I did. I understand why some folks stay far away from separated people. There is a risk of getting sukkked into the vortex of their current problems.

But everything passes with time. And friends during a time of crisis are friend that stay with you when things are easy.

Just my humble opinion.

~~~~~~
Really liked your post, Kick. I've been through a few bad relationships. The most recent has been a couple of years of hell with the last ex. And, I'll admit that I'm more than a bit gun-shy. It's hard not to get burned pretty bad and feel a little discombobulated for a time lol

I think everyone just wants to be accepted for who they are right now, with all the joys and hurts of their past. Some of us start adding those up early in life and I wonder how many have no baggage. Is that possible? :)

So for now, I'm enjoying my new found independence and making some good friends that love to Ride. I sure don't want some guy telling me he wants to take me to buy me intimate apparel on our first meeting and I don't wanna move in with him tomorrow either. I just wanna ride... and if something blossoms from there, then that would be awesome and if not, well here in SoCal, it'll most likely be another great day for a ride tomorrow !



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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Dec 22, 2005 14:18

LunarSoul write:
BUD'S HOT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, sis...WHO is Bud and does he have a brother/?????

  


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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Dec 22, 2005 14:04

BUD'S HOT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  


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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Dec 20, 2005 18:29

cabledude write:
I been divorced getting close to about 10 years.This is the first dating site I have joined I have met people from the chat rooms m sn,yahell,both I almost got remarried once thought it would be great then when she started moving in she kinda lost it ,by that I meen she had some phsycotic episodes, had to go spend sometime in the hospital,I guess I have a sheltered life that was strange to me, she decided that she would have to work out her problemson her own.So, anyway I have been kinda leary about on line relations.I hope someday to find the right lady one who will be understanding,and will live with both feet on the ground but always looking up for more,Yea I like to dream,but I know it takes hard work and determination to make it I want a woman who won;t give in or give up ,i survive day to day.I enjoy what my life has to offer and wish for someone who can feel the same if it' rolling down the highway on the way to a big bike meet or fishing out on a big lake and camping under the stars,hearing the song of nature calling.I am a pretty simple person don;t take that much to make me happy I wish to find a lady who is happy with herself,because i believe that if you can;t be happy with yourself you can never be happy with anyone else.So let me know if this makes sense to some of you ,does to me .


Total Package!! yup!



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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Dec 20, 2005 15:02

I thnk it makes a lot of sense cable but what do i know lol
married divorced, married divorced lol :@)



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