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DIVORCE IS IT WORTH IT?
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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Apr 30, 2005 21:47

DIVORCE IS IT WORTH IT?

Lesse my first one in 1995 I lost every dam material thing I had except my bike, car, computer and clothes. But I got to keep the little tiny bit of sanity I had left, the second one in 2003 I dam near lost my mind, self esteem, and most of my material possesions again. And ya know what??

THEY WERE BOTH ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY WORTH IT!!!!!

FREE AT LAST FREE AT LAST THANK GOD ALMIGHTY FREE AT LAST!!!!

I just started gettin my twisted sense of humor back a few months ago, and dam it feels good to be me again!!

I don't know if anyone will ever get me enough to live with me or not, but if not then fuggit!!! I ain't never changing again!!!

  


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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Apr 29, 2005 16:24

I do think divorce is the best thing to do if you are truly unhappy. My first marriage lasted for 15 years only 13 of them were together. My ex husband started having affairs and I stayed with him, we no longer slept together or did anything together when this started happening. I did my own thing with my children and he did his own thing. At the time I was a stay at home mom and he paid me enough money to keep food on the table and the bills paid. Needless to say I was unhappy. Divorce at that time was something I didn't think I could do. When I got to the point where I could no longer take it we separated. It took me along time to get to the point of filing for the big D. I felt it was the ultimate sin, not that I am super religious or a goody goody but I have enough black marks against me and felt that would be a big one. Finally a man of god told me sometimes we commit more sin in a bad marriage than the one sin of divorce, talk about a 100 lbs taken off my shoulders, as soon as I filed he disappeared and I got the divorce almost 2 years later with out him. I did get married again and divorced again, my track record is not the best... Good luck to all, hopefully we will all have better luck in our next relationships.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Apr 29, 2005 06:14

Mandy,some people are entitled to more than one mistake, but it is nice when you learn what to really watch out for. To many marriages are not built on friendship to begin with, so they are doomed.



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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Apr 28, 2005 15:24


VTXtreme write:
Amen RP you are first a Human being. And you should be treated that way. There has to be a good balence of "space" and togetherness. Glad you on your way to a better life. Sometimes it is better to be alone and happy than married and miserable. Been there done that. I have been married twice and divorced twice. First cheated, second well al long story of me being at a job I hated and brought the frustration and anger home, she got tied of the negativity and wanted a divorce. I don't blame her, I became someone that no one wanted to be around. Since than I have changed jobs and found a whole lot better life for myself and a whole lot of better people to be around. Hey what can I say I drive a beer truck. LOL. Gotta love the "BUD" man, HEHE. I had to sit back and really do some sould searching in the past but now I have found a great lady and we are getting married June 11th. My life is a whole lot better, sometimes you have to set back and re-evaluate yourself and life in general to see what is important. Good luck RP May happy days be in your future.....



I'm so happy for you!!! Wow...June 11! Getting close!!

May your joys be plenty, your troubles be few, and may your roads be smooth.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Apr 28, 2005 13:11


VTXtreme write:
Sometimes it is better to be alone and happy than married and miserable. Been there done that.


That is the definite truth! If you are not happy with yourself, don't go looking for someone to make you happy. It just won't happen. Now someone to make your life complete is a different story. I don't think we are meant to be alone. Partners who treat each other 50-50, and can handle good and bad together is what makes a special bond. All of us in this thread have been divorced, and hopefully will find what we all yearn for and need in our lives, but only if we are okay with ourselves first.



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 18:40


BabyGirl4You831 write:
Ive had 2 marriages and 2 divorces,,, both men cheated and lied. One of the men is on here i wont give out his name.. but he has found "the love" of his life for now... i was his 5th marriage and his exwife tried to tell me about him and his drinking problem but i didnt want to hear it .. finally realized it though.. but i WAS so much in love with him. but anyway ... I AM ALL GOOD..


Wow, 5th marraige, thought I was the "Professional Husband" of the site with four under my belt, two of mine died, what's his excuse,

  


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 12:40

Divorce hmmmmmm everyone is entitled to one mistake. Keep it honest and open.



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 11:12


VTXtreme write:
I agree with openroad, hope your ok. RP Always remember .."today is the first day of the rest of your life."



Thanks, VTXtreme! I couldn't agree more. It had to become my life and not his. He didn't want it to be "our" life.

I've never had the mental strength then like I do now.

I put myself through college to get my degree and have made a very good life for myself.

Now......to find that special someone to love and respect me for who I am and not who they want me to be.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 10:04


BabyGirl4You831 write:
but anyway ... I AM ALL GOOD..



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 10:03

hmmmmm........do we dare touch that one BG?

  


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 09:29

Ive had 2 marriages and 2 divorces,,, both men cheated and lied. One of the men is on here i wont give out his name.. but he has found "the love" of his life for now... i was his 5th marriage and his exwife tried to tell me about him and his drinking problem but i didnt want to hear it .. finally realized it though.. but i WAS so much in love with him. but anyway ... I AM ALL GOOD..



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 07:29

Since i started tihis part.Divorce is not a plesant thing,in my case i feel it was inevatable.After 7 yrs of being very unhappy i decided to end it,she did not want it.While dating,I was very upfront what was negoshable and what wasnt.After about 5 years of marrige,the non negoshable things became a problem.So i stood my grounds and the problems began.She was a stay at home mom and complained how bad her life was?So she left here with enough to pay cash fur 2 new harleys and 500. a month fur 1 child.She is an RN AND A GOOD MOTHER,GOOD PERSON.I kept all of my stuff,a lot of which i had before the wedding and the house,for what i have i feel she was very fair.My self,I cant be any happier.well thats my story and im sticking to it LOL

  


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 06:45

Yeah, well, on that....Take a Number, LOL.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 06:39

Yeah Razar, peace and happiness is where it's at. Just need a little grownup lovin now



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 04:56

Good for you Cruz that you came out on top. Sounds like me, only I didn't get the bike until after the divorce. Couldn't afford it before that the way she went through the money.

I got the house, the kids and lost a lot of money in the process, but we're all happy now.



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 27, 2005 04:46

Even tho it just about ruined me financially, I kept the house, the hog and most importantly the 2 minor kids. Finally after 26 years we have a peaceful, loving household. So worth it.



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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Apr 26, 2005 19:08

Divorce is only worth it if you learned something from it.

My marriage was very tough. I had a controlling husband who wouldn't allow me to work and a lot of other things. I wasn't allowed to leave the house without contacting him first to tell him where I was going then contacting him again when I got home. He would then check the odometer on my car to make sure I didn't go further than what I had told him.

I also had to take at least one of my children with me wherever I went because they were my witness to prove where I would go and whom I spoke with. I wasn't permitted to speak to any strange man, and his father nor his brother were permitted in the house while he was gone.

These are just a few of his controlling issues. There are many, many more.

But, back to the topic...

My getting the mental and physical strength to go to an attorney and want a divorce was the best thing I could have done for myself and my children. I learned a lot about my marriage and what I want for a future relationship. My children have learned how a relationship should NOT be. My parents got peace of mind for my well being. My attorney got $20,000! LOL!!

But, it was a learning experience that made me who I am. I am a stronger person now than I ever thought I could be and my self-esteem gets stronger each day.

So, yes.... In my opinion from my experience... Divorce was worth it!



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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Apr 24, 2005 23:24

Well said ladyvulcan



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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Apr 24, 2005 19:54

Divorce, is it worth it? I thought a long time about this one. The question, is it worth it? Then I read through the thread. Divorce is devasting, it is the end of a family unit. Kids never do understand and they seem to suffer the worst. But, still, is it worth it? In my instance I stuck around way longer than I wanted to. I waited until my kids were grown because I felt they deserved happiness at any cost. Perhaps it was easier because he was not the Father of my children, but since their Father had passed it was the only Father they knew. Even so, my belief is that divorce is never worth it, but sometimes it is inevitable. There is no other option.

  


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 20, 2005 04:51

Well, as for us common folks, I don't really think anyone gets married with the intent to get divorced. I don't think that's what was being said here. sometimes, though, that's a decision that has to be made somewhere down the road, and I think the question was "is it worth it or should I stay for (kids, financial reasons, etc, etc). Now if we're talking Hollywood, I'm sure a few of them might have had the divorce settlement in mind when they got married.....



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