the last words may not be as important as all the words you said over a lifetime. if someone goes and they know you loved them they still know it even if the last thing you said was not what you wish you said. Just because someone says angry things to me I know they still love me , they just might not know what to say at that moment to make it better and understanding that , that in itself can be loving someone.
Interesting reading...thanks for sharing everyone...Hugs...
I've been pondering this one for a few days. What has been the hardest lesson in my life? One that I still struggle with sometimes. My Dad & I got in an argument sometime after Father's Day in June, 1994 & with us both being stubborn Germans, we both wouldn't be the first to call each other on the p hone after that to talk. Well, on 9/9/94 was his & my stepmom's anniversary. I told myself that when I got home from work that night that I would call & wish them a happy & I would then talk with my Dad. Well? I got home from work & instead I got a p hone call from a woman who was a neighbor of theirs. She asked for Carla & I said this is her. She said, I have Alice here & she'd like to talk to you. She gets on the p hone & she tells me that my Dad is gone. I said where did he go? She said, no...he's gone. He's dead. He had walked down their driveway earlier that day to get the m ail & when he got back close to the house by his car...he collasped & had a heart attack & died. My stepmom had had a few strokes in earlier years & used a walker & couldn't move too quickly & she was standing by the kitchen window & she saw my Dad fall. By the time help got there, my Dad had already died. Here my 2 brothers & 1 sister all had the chance earlier in the day to call & talk to our Dad but I didn't.
So what lesson did I learn from this? A big one...
First of all, I just want to say that when I first started reading the forums and posts on BK, I read the name "Rev", I thought it was a reverend or something. Of course I learned that it was the legendary Revolutionary Passion who was called "Rev" for short.
Seems apropo then, that the REV starts this thread. I've been reading it, I have a story to tell.
Like most of you as it seems, we have been through many trials and tragedies. Been tested over and over. Some mention those you know who didn't make it through and have passed on, If we are reading and posting, we obviously made it this far.
I had many problems. But the one when I realized my life could change if I thought about things a different way was when I lost my Dad in 1983.
Our last conversation was an arguement. We yelled at each other and I was pizzed off at him because he didn't see things my way.
He passed from a heart ailment about a week later. I struggled for a long time, dealing with issues from other past traumas and this arguemant at the forefront.
To make a long story short, I learned to forgive first, then realized that I needed to learn to love, unconditionally and that I was the one that needed to ask for forgiveness.
There is quite a story about how this happened to be in my life, and I would like to tell it someday. Ask me if you really want to hear it. But for now, this realization changed my life forever and was a great part of healing for my own benefit and the betterment of those around me in my family and my world.
Thanks Rev, for the thread and the thought provoking it has provided.
The hardest lesson I had to learn from is that the last words you say to someone may be just that the last words said.On Aug.29th ,2002 my dearest friend died after years of battles with alcoholism.He died alone and I was never able to say good bye...We had an argument shortly before and I know the words I said were hurtful and judgmental and he died and I never said "I'm sorry" So be kind to each other because it hurts so bad not being able to take the words back..This is for Randy..Goodnight my love ,sleep peaceful,and know I am sorry....Dottie
The hardest lesson in my life would be to learn how to "trust" folks again.
When I was 18 a horrendous event took place in my life that truly changed me forever. I'll stand back in a crowd, watch and listen. Yes, I'm guarded, but once I open up and invite a person (male or female)into my world of friendship, you become part of my "chosen family".
I agree people aren't always what they seem to be, and we don't always want to see them for who they are for what ever reason we may have.
I don't seem to have a problem with accepting folks for who they are, or being friendly to them. I just know I'm a lot more picky as to who I'd get close to due to my experiences in life.
Strange how life molds us all.....
revolutionarypassion write: What would you say has been the hardest lesson in life you have learned that has impacted you the most?
won't bother going into the details of the story but the lessoned learned was the fact that we tend to see what we want to see in life and not how it truly is. walking thru life with blinders on may block some of the bad things that we refuse, or are afraid to see. but also blinds ya to a whole lotta good thats out there too.
i think mine was when all of the feelings that i had stored away in what i call my feelings closet came tubbling down and sat on my chest--the man that i loved and who supposedly loved me(i'm sure he did in his way) that i had spent 24 yrs with couldn't/wouldn't be there for me to help me thru it--and while still dealing with it the man who had the knight in shinning armour thing needing the damsel in distress couldn't/wouldn't be there for me either when puch came to shove
so the lesson was i needed to take care of me--so i went to what i call the garbage dump of feelings and put them on the table and sort thru them(with my therapist)--no one else will that there are those who aren't strong enough in themselves to be able to put their needs aside temporarily for someone else--WE NEED TO BE COMPLETE TO BE ABLE TO TRUELY GIVE OF OURSELVES
How about a easy question....I think about my life experiences,
alcohol and drug use,
my mothers Alzheimer's,
but what I thought about first is when I turned 50 I realized that I have spent my entire life being overly concerned what other people think of me and not being concerned about myself.
I going to give this more thought today and may get back to you.